The Perfect 100

Welcome to the Perfect 100, where we help professionals, entrepreneurs, and networkers
maximize their connections, track measurable growth, and unlock their potential.

We're mainly BNI focused, but I really am gonna take us to the next level and give us some
opportunities for people not in BNI to have some opportunities to track what they're

doing.

We'll talk more about that later.

But today, I'm excited to bring you my guest.

We have Carrie Nelson with us all the way from New Jersey, you know, because that's really
far away from Tennessee.

Carrie is a portrait photographer that I have known for a couple of years now through our
photography networks and the, you know, we've built worldwide connections on the

photography side.

So I'm excited to have her here and she's actually even taken some of my coaching
programs.

So welcome Carrie.

Yes, thank you.

Appreciate it.

I'm excited.

Awesome.

Well, let's dive right into your 45 seconds so people know who you are.

Okay.

Hi, my name is Carrie Nelson.

I'm a portrait photographer, owner of Carrie Nelson Photography.

One of my specialties, I offer headshots and branding to business owners.

Customers today want to feel like they know you and trust you before they even might want
to work with you.

A great headshot or even better, a set of branding images can help customers choose you
faster.

My clients, I help them guide them through location and clothing choices, as well as
posing and even facial expressions in order to create the best image that tells their

story.

If you know a business owner that wants to elevate their business online, a new headshot
might be the answer.

Please introduce me to them.

I would love to have a conversation.

Thank you.

Awesome.

So, portrait photography, close to my heart.

um tell us all how you got into portrait photography.

It's been, it's been more than 15 years and I have to go dig my notes to say how many plus
the 15 years.

I feel like, like many of us, it's when my kids were born and I started adding, wanting to
make my photos better.

It was something I had younger, but I'm an engineer by training and I kind of went in that
route and I kept putting the artistic on the side, but I ended up with a bigger need.

and things have just blossomed from there.

Yeah.

did you find your way to BNI?

So interesting, I was trying to figure out the real estate market.

I had a few people with real estate.

The first job I did, I spent 14 hours on editing their real estate images and they're not
high paying jobs.

And I'm like, there's something wrong with this.

So I um went and I met with a realtor trying to ask her how this goes and...

She said to me, oh, you know what, might be to have connections with my chapter.

I had no idea what she was talking about.

She took me to lunch and I was like, yes, I need to be with people who are business owners
who are excited about doing what they do and I need to get out behind my computer.

So I made that decision pretty quick.

Okay.

So somebody who was already in kind of gave you the, the, the nice launch pad into it by
getting you, seeing the bigger vision, I guess.

Right.

yeah.

um And pretty, probably they explained it the way they're supposed to, because I didn't
get a lot of information.

Right.

Yeah, you know, it's funny because I think that, you know, I have a lot of visitors.

I'm by far the person that brings them as visitors to my chapter and people don't
understand the value in brevity.

Right.

If you try to tell too much about it, gets people, they start backing up a little bit.

Right.

They're like, that sounds like a lot.

I don't know if I can do all that.

And they don't.

It's like trying to sell anything to anybody.

before they've ever had the opportunity to see or experience it.

It's less, yeah, it's less, uh it's just a more, it's a steeper hill to climb, you when
you kind of paint it.

Cause it sounds like when you just start talking about all the things that we do, maybe
sounds a little bit more uh challenging, I guess, than when you go and you experience it,

you're like, okay, it just makes sense, right?

So much easier.

um What's kept you involved in BNI?

How long have you been in?

So I'm just over two and a half years.

So yeah, I would say joining BNI like I opened me up to the networking world.

So my group, don't remember how many people were in my chapter.

It was probably in the plus or minus 20.

And then I met somebody from another chapter.

I visited that chapter.

Then there's networking that goes outside of BNI that

You know, we've been told before, if you don't have a network group, make one, create one.

And I never understood what that meant.

Like, how do I get people who want to hang out with me?

Cause I asked them to like that just sounded weird, but it just opened me up to the world
of networking.

And it's really why I'm still here.

What kind of engineer were you before?

don't remember.

Civil engineer.

Okay.

I'm sure we've talked about that, but I can't, I don't remember exactly.

So that's a big change from being working for that kind of organization is that were you a
part of the city or were you like, was that an independent firm or.

yeah, so I was more environmental.

We did more consulting.

And then I was really still doing some of it part time while I was learning photography
like a lot of other people.

It was all kind of overlapping.

Yeah.

of people, feel like, especially in today's world, and especially after COVID, a lot of
people did whatever, you they work for someone in a firm or, you know, company, whatever,

I corporate, and they had this side thing that they enjoyed doing and wanted to learn how
to do better.

And COVID, I think the most businesses, I think that, I don't remember what the number
was, but the most small businesses ever started happened

after COVID because we were all sitting around at home going, okay, you know, I can't go
to work.

you know, and in my case, and I'm sure in your case, we were in lockdown.

So I wasn't, I wasn't able to work.

so I picked up, I started taking classes online for food photography and I took classes on
learning how to make, uh bake, like baking and making, I learned how to do buttercream

flowers.

So I actually considered doing uh

baking cakes and cupcakes and doing buttercream flowers as a side hustle.

You know, but my hands, unfortunately my hands to do buttercream flowers, you have to have
really nimble, and my hands are nimble, but I have a lot of joint issues.

So that wasn't something I thought would last long term.

But, ah you know, those are all things that a lot of people that I feel like come to BNI
potentially are.

in their second thing, right, or their third or fourth thing, but it's not, it's their own
thing, which is a big difference.

And people that go networking often are those people too that they know they need to get
out in the world, but they don't have an understanding of how.

so the BNI kind of answers that for people.

actually coming, we'll talk later, have some solutions for people that are not going to
BNI, but I want to include everybody.

So I have some thoughts around that too.

um So you mentioned your chapter at the time was around 20 20 ish when you started I've
seen the numbers But tell everybody worry around where you guys are now

You know what?

don't even, am I 18?

You can tell me, am I 18?

were 15, if I remember right, around 15 people-ish, 15, 16, something like that.

It could be.

I feel like it's been since I've joined and it may be just the way BNI is, we would get a
new member and then somebody else wouldn't renew for whatever their reasons are, right?

There's lots of reasons, but it was like, we're getting bigger and then a few, then we're
not.

Let me go back.

Well, you know, it's funny.

There it feels that way.

And oftentimes that is there's always going to be people coming and going always.

But the the stick- to- itiveness, if you will, is is in large part due to how the chapter
runs.

I was just looking at uh there's a chapter in South Carolina.

have one hundred and eighty three, I think it is members.

it's 180 something, 180 members in their chapter.

I'm like, you know, people think it's, people think a 30 or 40 person chapter is a big
chapter.

Can you imagine 180 some people?

That's a show.

em And that's a process oriented chapter, because that is, there's, you you've got to
have, everything's got to work well for, to maintain that amount of people and also get

the...

Value.

Yeah.

out of it.

uh But imagine the commitment of 186 people trying to be in your corner to help you grow
your business, which is pretty...

yes, like that's amazing.

But the the seconds count in that.

For sure.

Well, I went to the US National Conference, not this past year, but the year before, and
they did a mega meeting, and there were at least 150 people sitting there.

And it was finally timed.

Everything was well-oiled.

They had done it before, and they recognized how to do it.

you can get it done with any...

And we finished 10 minutes early.

em But it's amazing when you work the process, em you you kind of figure it out.

So some chapters like that thrive, right, and others struggle.

So in your opinion, what's the difference between a chapter that is really successful and
one that treats it maybe more like a social club?

well, yeah, I mean, definitely if it's a social club, there's not as much work getting
done.

we can right?

in there and there's not, that's not top of mind.

The top of mind is being there to be like, Hey, how's your week going?

And they might be your buddy.

Uh, I, right.

think that's I've been because my area, I don't know the numbers.

You may know them better than me, but I have a ton of chapters.

in my area.

did not realize that when I joined BNI.

I joined the first chapter.

I wanted to go the first, I showed up at the next week and they're like, wait, you're
back?

I'm like, wait, I'm not allowed to be back again.

was, nobody told me it was okay.

Turns out it was okay.

But there's another chapter that has 55 people.

There's another one that has 45 and they,

don't, they don't have the opportunity to fill in a little bit more space where our
chapter, we are not social in the respect that like work does get done, but there's

definitely more liberty to people speaking out of turn or things like that that just don't
happen in a large chapter.

It fixes itself.

Yeah, you know, it's funny because we, think everywhere there are chapters that there's
going to be, you know, it's the bell curve.

There's going to be some that are, you know, high, the 180 some person chapter to the, you
know, 10 or under kind of chapters.

And the smaller you are, then we're going use the word liberties, the more liberties
people take with things that wouldn't necessarily

uh happen in a bigger meeting because there's not room for them, You know, you have
comment.

Yeah, and the one that's like the big chapter, they still do two 10 minute presentations,
right?

Like they get it in.

they figure it out.

Yeah.

And it's amazing.

You know, that's when uh I think I've talked about this before on a previous episode, but
the chapter that I used to be in, they were at 40 something, then COVID happened and we

went online.

And over that period of time, uh things changed a lot.

Some people joined, there was a previous podcast person that joined during that where we
were online.

So we had never seen him in person until we went back.

had been at least six months that we'd only ever seen him on a screen.

So it was really interesting to see people in 3D.

But other people, we dwindled down to half that size.

So you finish a lot earlier when you only have 20 people and then you do when you have 40
people.

So that extra 20 or 30 minutes that were left, some chapters they just leave.

They're like, or they'll fill it with a lot of that excess stuff that isn't part of the
actual meaning.

we took the opportunity to take that time and build.

We figured out, know, who, who, okay, we used to be 40 something, so we know that's
possible.

So how are we gonna get back there?

And, you know, strategy is kind of one of my, that's my number one CliftonStrengths, I was
like, and I came back as president, so I was like, how are we gonna get back to that?

And we figured out ways to work through those things and build back.

within a year, we were back to the 40s.

it's, which is phenomenal, because that's a lot of growth in a short amount of time.

Um, you know, yeah, I was talking to, had a conversation last week with somebody who I
had, we were, I didn't even know.

I was, kind of got called into a meeting where I thought I was meeting with somebody.

Well, I was meeting with somebody I knew, but I was, there was something more to the
meeting than I knew about.

I kind of was, which was really like, wow.

Okay.

This is interesting.

Um, it was with the owner of the company and, um, so the.

the person I know is not the owner and he's recently gone to work at this company and it
turns out I'm meeting with the owner.

um The owner comes in, I'm sitting in the conference room by myself and the owner comes
in, he's like, I think I have a meeting with you and I'm like, you do?

And so I was like, okay, one word, but you know, I'm good on my feet so let's figure out
what we're up to here and uh we long into the conversation, we had a really good kind of

back and forth conversation and

It's a financial uh management company.

he was telling me, well into the conversation, we got into networking and he was talking
about uh whether that works, how it works, et cetera.

And I asked him if he knew about BNI and he kind of got a face like there was not a
positive face.

And I was like, tell me about that.

That doesn't look like a positive experience.

And he said, know, it was, most people don't know how to network.

was his comment, the essential to boil it down was most people don't understand how to
network.

And I said, what does that mean?

And he said, you I would go and have one-to-ones with people and they would take the
entire time and talk about themselves and they would never find out about me.

And I thought, well, that's not how they weren't trained properly, right?

Obviously it's not supposed to work like that is, but that, you know, in the bigger
picture of things, that's what people do, right?

they, if you go to a chamber meeting or you go to anywhere where there's a business
meeting where people are talking is they don't understand that there's value in finding

out about the other person.

You know, is everybody wants to talk about themselves, but nobody wants to dig into the
other person.

And that's where the value is coming in

I thought it was so interesting because we teach you how to do that in BNI, but not
everybody does it.

you know, do you feel like you were taught a system when you came in?

Did you really feel like you understood that, you know, kind of the structure?

And did your chapter kind of dive into that with you?

So I'm like the member that on whatever, the third, second meeting, I'm like, well, I
finished my membership training.

Somebody up there like, wait, what?

I'm like, yeah, it was only three hours.

So I learned things right away, but fitting it into how it works in our meeting was a
little different.

And I still don't know.

I still try.

different things like you have a one-to-one that's a one pager, that's awesome.

um I actually filled that one out.

There's another one floating around that like generated from Atlanta.

That's a bigger, it has the same information.

There's just more space to put it in.

And um there's a few of us that have grabbed onto those to say, hey, we're gonna fill them
out and we're gonna send them.

What I'm finding with me is sometimes the one-to-one is such a last minute, like, hey, can
we meet before the meeting?

Now I've realized I haven't had a chance to send them my form.

So that is a future goal of mine to get better at scheduling them out a little farther and
sending them.

Because I feel like if I send them, then someone's going to be like, this is what people
do.

Whereas it's not in our...

culture right now to and when I was new I would ask, do you use the one to one?

Cause I like I'm a new kid.

I don't know what's going on.

And the answer was no.

Most often the answer is no.

Yeah.

And that culture thing you mentioned is unique to each chapter, right?

Is everybody decides somewhere along the line, somebody decided it was not what we do
here.

And when you come in, you don't know any difference.

So if they don't do it here, you don't do it here.

But if you go to another chapter where it's, that's what everybody does, then you just
think that's what you're supposed to do.

uh But the balance of doing those things is what makes your membership successful.

Right?

so Carrie mentioned that I have a one sheeter that is on the website.

So if you go to the Perfect 100 website on the bottom of the page, there are some
downloads and that is one of them.

It's a, it's in you all, everybody has, if you're in BNI right now, you have access to,
there's the MSP 2.0 training.

If you go to the first module, there's a download, there's a whole booklet on how to do
BNI basically.

And it is in that booklet.

and it's on probably four or five different sheets of paper in the booklet, that one
sheeter.

The one sheeter's just kind of translated it.

It's what we used to use.

um So you can write it on one piece of paper and then it's on prints on both sides.

So it's just a template for a conversation about how to help each other.

And you don't have to send it beforehand.

It's a great idea if you do, because it gives people the chance to think about it before
you actually meet with them.

But if you've forgotten, you just bring it with you and hand it to, you know, I have.

you know, multiples of them in my BNI folder where anytime I'm going to be meeting with a
BNI person, I always just have extras in there so I can always pull that out.

Because I sometimes will forget to send it to you.

I usually will send a calendar invite and attach it.

But if I've forgotten to do that or just in, yeah, if it's on the spur of moment, I just
keep them in my BNI folder so I always have access to them.

And then you just cover it while you're sitting there.

and nine times out of 10, they don't have one.

So then I just go back and forth with them.

Okay, here's, you know,

what's on my sheet and they'll tell me about yours.

So it feels that way.

So it's really blown away by his comment that people don't know how to network, we
actually teach that.

But that's only if your chapter teaches it.

Or your chapter success coach if you're uh a company owned or you're, uh forget what they
call the franchise, director consultant.

They are

typically somebody that knows how to do that or might be in a chapter that does that or
oversees a chapter that does that.

So you can always meet with that person who kind of oversees the chapter to get some
support on how can I do this so I get more out of it.

um So you can always talk about that.

But kind of going back, go ahead.

to kind of what you're talking about, I think that the people that are in BNI are better
networkers in the chamber type situations or just social, even social ones.

They still come out with a goal, for lack of better word, to say, hey, you know, this is
my name and tell me about what you do.

Like we have been trained.

Yes.

And I feel like we've been comfortable talking about it more.

Right.

So, so I would, I would push back on that too with him.

Maybe he'll rejoin.

Yeah.

I love that because you're right.

think it's you kind of go into it with a different set of you have an objective in mind
maybe because you're looking for people to network with where, I, went to an, my husband

and I make him come to all the, ribbon cuttings and all the chamber stuff too.

And we went to one last week and we, a couple of days later, I said to him, what did you
get out of that?

And he's like, what do you mean?

Because he's not in BNI and he's not a natural networker.

So he's always a good test subject for me.

I said, what'd you get out of that?

And he's like, well, it was kind of small.

You know, there wasn't really anything going on.

I'm like, OK, was there anybody?

And there were a bunch of people there he'd already run into a whole bunch of times at
other chamber things because I'm an ambassador and they are too.

The ambassadors show up for all the things.

And he's like, well, you know, there was this one, that one that I already knew.

like, OK, was there anybody new?

And he said, well, yeah, actually, the people

who were having the ribbon cutting.

And I said, okay, so who were they?

And he was like, he didn't know what their names were.

And I'm like, those are new people, right?

And then we talked through kind of.

why those people could potentially be an asset to him and him to them.

And he was like, okay, you know, I get it.

But I have to constantly remind him because that's not his natural thing.

And he doesn't see it every week.

And I have a different set of objectives.

It's that plus, right, is I'm looking for to build my network at a deeper level.

So I'm looking for people that...

If they're at a chamber event, they're probably interested in coming to meet more people
at a BNI meeting.

whether or not their member potential or not just depends, but they still want to come and
network.

So that's why I have a lot of visitors, because I'm always looking for that.

So.

And when we go, or even me speaking for myself, I'm not going just for me.

I am going for my chapter, for chapters that I've subbed in, that I've met some great
people.

There's conversations we have where my brain goes ding ding, I have to introduce you to so
and so.

And that makes me happy.

That fills my cup and I...

until like, we're not getting into it, but until rereading my Clifton strenghts was like,
hee hee hee.

That's exactly, that's not hard for me to do.

Yeah.

And that's also, I'm looking for that same reason, right?

It's because we do have the, part of what we do at BNI is find referrals for each other.

So, you know, for actively meeting new people all the time, then the chances are much
better.

We're going to be able to find referrals and connections for people because I don't know
all those people either.

uh

So I went and took, I've been talking over the last couple episodes about building
something for people that are just people, business people in general.

So, and I'm gonna speak to it now, just kind of hold it up, but you're not gonna be able
to see it if you're obviously not watching on YouTube, but it's called the Perfect 100

Networking Tracker, because I want people who are not BNI to still be able to have success
in building their business and networking.

And so I'm gonna have this on my website.

It will not be a...

Well, it depends on when this comes out.

It might be up by the time this airs, you know, sort of on YouTube, but if not, yes,
coming soon, I like that.

But it gives a lot of different things that people can be, you know, you can measure your
success in going to those kinds of events with, and that will help you build your

business.

It is completely free.

um

And it also includes strengths because this is what I do here at the part of the podcast
is to help people understand how to build through their strengths, which you just

mentioned that once you read yours again, that you started to recognize.

And I want to call attention to that, right?

Is that when I go to those kinds of events, I'm looking to, I'm a maximizer.

I have a strategy, strategy is my number one.

I have a strategy that I'm there to.

find visitors.

there to make connections that I can connect people to in my chapter.

And I'm also looking for other things.

You know, I have a very specific set, but I'm using my talents for how I'm approaching
that situation.

So being very intentional and that isn't what a lot of people do, right?

Is they're not thinking I'm sitting in the car before I walk in the door to the whatever
event.

I'm not thinking about what am I trying to accomplish here?

I'm just showing up.

Some people are like trying to get themselves out of the car because they don't even want
to.

I have to fight to get my husband to go to stuff because it's not his natural thing.

But he goes because I'm going, so it's easier for him.

But if I was just sending him on his own or if he was sending himself, it would be harder
for him.

So hopefully this will help people.

ah

and he might come home and say, I got lost.

yes, it's funny I couldn't find it so I just came back.

Alright, so let's roll into your Power of One and see how you're looking here on the Power
of One.

you are, you have a total score of 80 that is in the green.

You have 15 points in attendance.

You have 20 points in referrals.

So 15 points is yellow, 20 points is green.

for referrals.

have 10 points for visitors that's in the red, 20 points for one to ones in the green,
CEUs are 15 in the yellow.

So what are you most proud about when you look at that?

I mean, I'm most proud that I'm in the green overall.

Yeah, you know?

And it may not be for everybody, but it feels that way for me.

Yes, because that's one of the things that is in your makeup, right?

Is you like to measure your success em by, you know, kind of giving yourself some points
and your, there aren't, and what struck me is you, I asked people to send me your

PowerPoint because I don't have access if you're not in my area and you gave me your whole
chapters and it was easy to grab yours because you were at the top.

um There weren't any other people that were green in your chapter, so.

What do you think about that in terms of opportunities for people in your chapter?

well, there's nowhere else but up, right?

There's nowhere else but up.

Yeah, I it's hard.

I'm the vice president currently in the chapter, so I speak to it often.

I think my next thing is to try to do a little bit more one to ones just with everybody,
just so they can see that, yes, they too can be in the green or even we can go yellow

like.

Yes.

But.

I would love to give the Clifton Strengths to my entire chapter.

might, right?

That could help.

But I just think in general, they don't necessarily see the value of that.

For them, they're fine where they are, whatever that is.

Because I would expect if they were disappointed in something that they would tell me.

I'm kind of open enough of a person that they would feel comfortable with saying something
to me.

uh

It's getting it filled out, I guess, and doing it.

well, and let's look at your palms report.

you on your palms report, so no absences, it's 19 weeks of measurement on here.

So no absences, six referrals given inside, 19 referrals given outside, three referrals
received inside, eight referrals received outside, three visitors, 51 one-to-ones in a 19

week measurement.

Thank you for close business given 4,390 and 21 CEUs.

So I'll ask you kind of the same question.

What are you most proud of now that you've seen kind of the breakdown of those things?

Yeah, well, um I know my thank you for close business is not that high compared to maybe
some of the construction projects that are just larger in value.

um But the fact that I, that number, and that's this number, and it's also not necessarily
everybody has inputted.

So I know that there's more out there because I I know, I just don't know what that,
right?

Whether it's...

twice as much or not, but there's more.

um And my attendance, like this spring, the way things worked in this spring, I had
something every other week and it was actually killing me inside to not even be there, but

I did have a sub, so.

I see several subs.

So and that doesn't count as an absence because you had a sub.

So the em what did you say?

The the people that didn't.

I was like, I want to make a mental note.

You you said that people maybe are not recording.

Thank you for close business.

Right.

And and that's so the way I always look at the Palms report is it's a measurement of, you
know, it's if you have a business, you hopefully are looking at

what's coming in and what you're closing and how much money you're making and how much
money you're receiving, how much money you're spending and how much that's what we're all

in business is, at the end of the day, it's about what did we do and how did it turn out?

And that's what this Palms report is, It is the activity that BNI has set up to say this
is what will make you successful.

if you do these things and your chapter will also be successful if you do these things.

But if not everybody plays, then we don't know.

So, you know, when I have a chapter that has people who don't input things, um they're
only hurting themselves and everybody else because you can't measure, you can't fix what

you can't measure.

And you know, so it is the, it hurts you because you like to see the value and you want to
have the, you know, so, and I think you have harmony and we're gonna talk about that in a

minute, but you have harmony and so you want everybody to, you know, feel good about
things.

uh And that is maybe, we'll talk about how we can influence that maybe in a minute here,
but if someone looks at, if you show them this and say, you know, I think I've given more

than.

$4,390 over this time period, but not everybody's entered that, then maybe that appeals in
a different way, right?

I think that we're doing better than we look, but it's really hard to know.

so can we all get more out of this, maybe by starting with this?

I don't know.

You know the people, I don't.

So it's a good way.

I think that most people I've showed their personal palms to, or even better, the chapter
palms report to when they see the overall

All the stories come out, every bit of them.

It's crazy.

Every time I've done a training for a chapter and I've put the chapter PALMS up, is you
start hearing all the things.

There's always things and it's amazing how many things there are, because we're all human.

just when you thought you heard them all, there's a new one.

Yes, there's a whole bunch of them.

you know, but at the end of the day, we're all here to do business.

you know, and so if I think just showing it to people sometimes can be an influencer
because they didn't even know that we were looking, you know, it's like, this even exists.

didn't, you know, that and I've got nothing, you know, compared to everybody else.

And that's just some virtue of you didn't put anything in.

So but you have harmony.

So let's talk about that.

So let's roll into your your Clifton strengths.

So I'm going to read your top five.

So number one is harmony.

You look for consensus.

You don't enjoy conflict.

Rather, you seek areas of agreement.

Number two is individualization.

You are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person.

You have a gift for figuring out how different people can work together productively.

Number three is relator.

You enjoy close relationships with others.

You find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.

Number four is discipline.

You enjoy routine and structure.

Your world is best described by the order you create.

And number five is activator.

You can make things happen by turning thoughts into action.

You want to do things now rather than simply talk about them.

So let's talk about that.

How does...

How do all of those, so Carrie's done, did this with me, it's been a couple years, I think
now, least a year and a half, if not two years ago.

the date says 2003.

Okay, so, oh, 2003, must be, no, that can't be right.

Is that right?

Okay, you might need to redo it.

If you haven't done it in the last 10 years, things may have changed.

Oh, I'm sorry, not 2003, I'm sorry, 2023.

I felt like I was saying it right, but no, 23.

No.

it was funny.

I thought it was in the last two years.

So you're good.

That's okay.

you looking at those top five now that you've kind of, I know you refreshed so we could
talk about them.

How do you see those showing up in either your photography or how you network in general?

Yeah.

And I when, when I first was going to pull it up, I was thinking, I remember them not
landing that accurate when I first took it.

And I'm not sure if it's just because of the last three years that I've had that it
definitely is probably accurate.

And then I go into like the discipline part, which I would like to get the extra.

know that there's a way to get the next, I feel like I need to see what the next round is,
but that

discipline part.

I think that was what catapulted me into joining BNI because as a business owner, I'm on
my own and if I don't have clients that I'm working with, I'm either looking for clients

or looking for something else.

And that gave me structure.

And I have shared that with people.

Like I have a standing meeting every Thursday and you know that.

That was at sometimes that's the only structure I have all week depending on what's going
on.

So, um, and then the harmony, I'm not sure.

Sometimes I, I, I definitely hate conflict, but I don't, I'm not sure how I can use that
for my positive, but keeping like learning about other people and knowing kind of quickly

what they're trying to tell me.

feel like I have a pretty good way of connecting.

Two people that don't know each other together.

And that's not hard for me to do.

Sometimes it's hard to get the connection.

Just because I think two people could be beneficial to each other, there is the challenge
of getting them together.

That's right.

Our world moves really fast and we're all busy, but I do try to keep up with them as well.

Like I go through my mind of like, where's my feedback that I haven't heard if those two
were able to meet or so I can't say I'm a hundred percent things fall through the cracks,

believe me, but I do try to keep up on that.

Well, you I find that um it's the why that might be missing and you may be doing this,
right?

But um I know that when somebody introduces me to somebody and they don't give me a why,
then I'm less likely to be jumping right on it.

Yeah, because I don't know why, meaning why is this person somebody I need to know?

And I'm kind of one of those, I wanna meet everybody anyway.

But the why for most people is

when we connect the dots by saying, this person is, I want you to meet them because, and
we give that to both parties.

I try to email, introduce them and give those things as, you need to meet this person and
here's a blurb that I think is interesting to the other and vice versa for both people so

that they have an incentive to want to.

reach out to each other because there's a thread, you there's some common thread.

It's like I went to the meeting last week.

I didn't know, I said I didn't know I was going to meet with the owner.

I didn't have a clue that that's what I was there for.

And had I known, I wish I had known because I am somebody who would prepare for that in a
different way.

I might have worn different clothes.

I would have whatever, but I'm good on, can, I, you know, I've been in sales forever.

I'm good on a dime.

can, I can change directions, no problem.

And it was actually really fun because

I felt like I was back in my negotiating with car dealer days because I was getting
conversation that it was very much a tennis match.

You know, he was sending me something and then I would bat it back at him and so forth and
so on.

But uh having that connection point would have said, you know, I need, I want you to meet
this person because this person is whatever.

ah It would have been a good thing for me.

would have showed, I trust the person that invited me, even though I was there without
that.

feedback.

um I know that they're a great connector so no matter where they invite me I'm going to
show up because I know that good things are going to come of it but they don't always give

me the back thought.

They're in the moment.

They're like, these people and you need to meet this person.

That person knows who I want in my network so I just show up and make it happen and I
should have known actually just knowing that I should probably been more prepared for the

unknown.

Yes, exactly.

Well, when you said the why, that was the other one of mine, I'm going to
individualization?

Individualization?

Yeah.

So when I saw that, needing to know the why, like my husband would laugh out loud, tell
you that's, I need to know the why in everything.

Like that's right.

I'm a questioner at all costs.

So I do the end.

I've had multiple people say that

my email has been the best introduction email they've read.

I think that's probably in there because like I'm answering the questions I would want to
know if you're connecting me.

So it's fun.

I like like it's fun.

Yes.

Yes.

Well, and so I was kind of, you know, doing a little alchemy with your, your, um, your
strengths.

So you've got activator, individualization and relator, which means do you want people to
take action?

You want those actions to be aligned with who they are and you have good intuition about
what people need.

So do you see an opportunity to use those things together with the people in your chapter
or maybe in your business in a new way?

when you think about it like that.

I mean, there's always opportunity.

I don't know, I almost feel like I'd like you to give me a suggestion, to be honest.

So I'll read that again.

So you want people to take action.

You want those actions to be aligned with who they are and you have good intuition about
what they need.

if you think about, and I think you, let me put it in a different way.

How do you make that come to fruition in your business?

Because I think you're already doing it there.

When you have a, when you have a client, how do you uh

How are your sessions unique and different than other people's?

Well, I think I listen to them and I think I help them work through maybe something they
don't know.

And I feel that I'm approachable.

You know, that's just like, you know, that's my feeling.

I was a sub in another local chapter and I did my presentation and he actually chased me
out of the room.

So funny.

I did not meet him.

Oh man, I actually met him in the networking.

So we did already have a connection, was an interesting, so he's a hard money lender.

He'll be completely fine me telling the story, but he's a hard money lender.

And I said to him like, oh, in my environmental work, I worked for a hard money lender.

And he does residential, he doesn't do commercial, but I was on the commercial side.

What is a hard money lender?

So hard money lender is somebody who lends money when you can't or don't want to go in the
traditional route.

construction flippers often use that because they just need a lot of money, but they only
need it for a really short period of time.

So throw me this money, we'll make it work, and then I'll give it back to you.

But the interest is high, the terms are fast, there's different things about it.

When I was doing my so I was doing environmental inspections and they were for a hard
money lender It's the commercial side.

So I'm going in trying to assess their Environmental liability if they give them money.

So if this place goes belly up Are they owning a tank that they're gonna have to do
remediation on like think that so that's what I did But him he didn't know that He didn't

know that that was

something even in the commercial space.

So we had a quick conversation, which was good connection.

He were on this.

They probably have 45 people in the chapter had the meeting.

And then on the way out, he said to me, I need your card.

He's like, I can't look mad.

I look, he's like, I don't really want to say anything, but somebody told me I lost a job
because they said I looked mean.

And I was like, well, that yes, we can fix.

And nobody wants to be a hard money lender that looks mean.

Nobody wants to get yelled at.

So, you know, that was a job for me.

And that was great.

And he's happy and hopefully he'll send other people my way.

Yeah, so you figured out how to give him what he needed by, you know, I'm sure you had
ongoing conversations about the prep and, you know, getting him in front of your camera,

how to loosen up maybe his expression and all of those kinds of things.

you, and I'm guessing you probably dove in a little deeper just based on what you just
said with him about what he does and, you know, how he does it.

not only going to be client for you, but you probably can help him because he's in BNI,
right?

Is that true?

Okay, so what if you did that with the people in your chapter?

Maybe if you took a different tack that way as could you have a different conversation?

Because you already naturally you have individualization, you are in Relator, you already
in Activator.

So individualization is you can pick out what everybody needs.

without thinking about it.

You already know what they're good at and how they can accomplish things.

And then Relator is you have satisfaction in going deeper with people.

So you know them, you have an inner circle that they're probably part of your inner circle
because you meet with them every week and you feel comfortable getting, you know them.

And then the uh Activator is getting people to do stuff.

So it's not sitting around.

It's like, let's go, let's go do it.

So

Could you take those things you already know and individualize for the person that you're
speaking to maybe in a one-to-one about how to move, help them move because that's where a

lot of people struggle.

I love an activator because I need somebody, my activator, I don't even remember where
mine is.

My activator is, oh it's 11, so I'm pretty close to the top there.

But, and I'll speak to you before I forget, because I'll just say it now, is you mentioned
knowing you want to know the rest of them.

um If you've only taken your top five, uh you've really taken the full breadth of things.

You just have to unlock it.

So you can go into the Gallup site where you access your report and it'll have a thing in
there that says unlock the rest.

So then you can pay, I uh forget what the difference is, it's 40 bucks maybe em to get the
rest of your.

Strengths unlock for you and it's highly helpful to you in what you do and as a coach,
know I have I for when I'm doing a coaching session with people I always want them to have

their full 34 because the top five is great But you're you're missing the meat and
potatoes you got the meat but you don't have the or the potatoes You know with the the

second the top ten are really where you're bouncing in and out of all day long so it's
highly helpful to know those things but

to go back to the point is your top three themes are people, their uh relationship
building.

So can you think about how you might individualize what they want, because you want to
know the why.

dig in a little bit deeper with them and see if you can influence some things that way.

And you have activators and influencing theme.

uh I don't know, what do you think?

Yeah.

So I've been VP for the past two years and I'm not going to be VP in October, which and
people laughed at me when I said it, but I'm like, I need to sit on the other side of the

room.

Like I need to sit in like, you know, so I am looking forward to that.

Like this was this was an amazing experience and

trying to find somebody, even in and out.

Every time you meet someone and you say you're the VP, everyone gets the, that's the
hardest job.

And to learn it wasn't easy, but it's not if, and especially the person I'm gonna hand it
over to, they're gonna get my version of what it is.

It's not that hard once you know what you're doing, but I am a little separated from the
little stuff that's going on in the chapter.

Yes.

And I did take the role of mentor coordinator.

So that may also help out, right?

And once I get the training on that, I would like to expand that a little bit more into
where it is, but that's where I'm at with this next year.

Not having to run the numbers for everybody, not having to tell them what they are every
week.

Now I can kind of help in a different way.

Yes, I love that and that's probably a really good space for you to do all those things in
because you're gonna have a you have a different, VP is a, sounds more intimidating I

guess than mentor coordinator.

If you're coming to somebody to mentor them.

you're doing all the things we just talked about.

You can individualize that for them and you're gonna get to know them really well and
figure out how to get them to do, help them do the thing.

So I love that that's, and you have discipline, so you might be able to, where that's your
strong suit.

Discipline, where's my discipline?

My discipline is 24.

So I like to...

create things and then on to the next thing and on to the next thing, you know?

So I need somebody with discipline sometimes to shore me up and say, okay, but we need to
get this first.

You know, you need to execute this thing and then let's move on because that's a
discipline is an executing theme.

those are, I have two executing things in my top 10, but.

I am far more the other things than the executing things.

So, you know, it's good to have a balance.

that's where what you said earlier about, I wish I, everybody in my chapter had, would
take this because then you could kind of do, figure out what everybody needed, right?

And we did that in my chapter.

Almost not everybody, but a good chunk of the people in my chapter, because I'm, that's
the seat I hold us, you know, I'm a coach, coach, Clifton Strenghts coach.

For one way or another, they've taken it, whether it's, you know, I sometimes I'll make
that my giveaway when we pull out of the bag at the end or they've done coaching with me,

whatever.

So enough of them have taken it that we did a session on, because we're going into a new
year, we're in August and you know, the new leadership team takes over in October.

And we looked at as a team, there were a bunch of us at the session and I kind of walked
them through how everybody.

is and they all walked away with wow, that was so amazing to understand that this one
strength is this and this one strength is that and that's why why are we asking this

person to do this when their strength really should be doing that right.

So it makes for a much more harmonious to tie it all back together.

Chapter when we're all working in our strengths.

So I love that.

So

know one of mine, but we all think differently, right?

Like we think I can do this.

That doesn't mean it's easy for everybody else.

Like some other people would much rather do something completely different.

And they're very good at that.

Yes, and why not work in what you're drawn to, right?

If it naturally comes to me to do something, why wouldn't I?

I will be far more, you know, I'm a coach.

I would be far more successful doing something I'm already strong at than to put me into
something that I'm not, you know?

I can do it.

We all have to do stuff in our business or in our work or in our life that we don't enjoy
or are not good at.

but we're gonna be far more happy and successful when we work through the things that we
are.

All right, so talk to me about what habit, belief, or mindset shift has helped you as an
individual grow the most in your business.

Habit, belief, or mindset.

Yes.

Um, I feel like it's still like, um, like just keep going, just keep going.

And when, when people are in a spot where they're learning, they're growing, it's all new.

We all have this like struggle and we're all trying to compare ourselves to where we want
to be.

And I, in this time I've learned that I'm always going to want to be more.

So that.

But like, I'm never gonna get to the more part.

So just stay where I'm at and just keep going.

Right, okay.

Well, you might get to the more part, but...

No, yes, but that I keep moving the carrot, right?

So like where I am now, I think is a better version of where I was a few years ago, but
the carrot's been moved.

So I still want more.

So, so I got to like live here.

That's like, and you can see it in other people when you're talking to them more so.

And then that's when I'm like, yeah, I got to do that.

Yeah, it's a process, My husband and were talking about this yesterday because he's
teaching me, he teaches people how to oil paint and I'm a coach.

I had never painted before, so I posted on my Facebook oh the first painting I did to
the...

We just finished a block, they called there's different blocks in the process and I just
finished the second block and I could put the side by side because I thought it was

interesting to see the difference and you can't see down the line what you're gonna be,
you can only take it step by step.

in between those two were a whole lot of learning and a whole lot of steps, right?

So, you I didn't show up at BNI and understand how to get a perfect 100 until many years
later.

You know, it was a process and same for all the things, you know, I was a photographer,
didn't, day one, just because I had a camera in my hand, know how to do well with that.

Right?

So I love that.

How about a challenge that you faced as a business owner?

Give me kind of one of your toughest challenges that you thought, gosh, I'm not sure I'm
gonna, I don't know what to do with this and how did you work through it?

Oh, I think I'm still working through it.

I think for me as a photographer, the challenge is having my potential client or client
understand this is going to be worth it in the end.

It's sometimes a big ask and it's, it is more of a luxury item.

It's not a requirement.

You don't have to have a photo taken in order to

do X, Y, and Z, so, right?

So I'm not somebody, and even those, I understand those professions still have, you have
options as a consumer, but even mine, you have an option to even use a photographer.

that's, so that's my biggest hurdle is trying to explain the value and the importance and.

and how happy you are going to be at the end.

That's where I'm at.

a lot of times, like, and sometimes if I don't get feedback from them, I try to find if I
can get feedback.

And a lot of it is like, the dollars don't match the, the whatever, right?

The two images.

And then when I have some, they are so excited and I can't.

That's where I'm at.

want to be like, yes, I want you to be excited beforehand, because I know you're going to
be.

I won't let you leave not happy.

And I don't, right?

I just keep saying that, but yeah.

Well, I feel like that's a testimonial, right?

Is that if you have others that feel that have felt that way and then afterwards having
somebody else's journey.

And that's kind of actually why I put together the paint you a picture is, you know, the I
painted here was me at day one and here's me, you know, after X amount of lessons a year,

almost a year later.

And I couldn't have foreseen

that outcome, I figured, you know, I have artistic ability.

I was a photographer.

I can see light, you know, but I didn't know if I had the technical ability to be able to
paint.

so, but had I been shown and I was, and that's kind of the studio set up to say, these are
kids like on the walls I'm sitting in, we have a shared studio space.

I'm sitting and there's a bunch of stuff on the walls that kids have painted that are
really good.

So I was like, I bought into the dream.

that if those kids can paint like that, I could probably paint like that, but I didn't
really know.

right.

Yeah.

But you know, the difference between kids and adults is kids are more willing to accept
that, right?

We as adults do not, you know, like, we just make a judgment and say, I can't, I can't do
that, or I don't think I can do that.

And kids are just like, okay, just teach me, you know, they don't know.

They don't know the difference.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just for kids, the hardest part is just sitting still to do it.

Sometimes for adults.

But that's uh an ongoing thing that I think we all struggle with is, can I get there?

sometimes for me, and I've been doing this in my own business, the end is, I just listened
to something the other day, was listening to a book on uh Audible and he was talking

about, well, it's the E-Myth, if any, but I'm sure people have heard of the E-Myth.

Yeah, and he was talking and it never occurred to me until he said this, but I've done
this with my business forever.

It's like, where do I want to go?

Where am I trying to head?

I'm a goal setter.

I'm going to get there.

But I never thought of it in terms of and I've read it before, but it just, you know,
sometimes you have to hear it again and again.

And he talked about doing it for your life.

And, you know, what is the life that you're trying to design for yourself?

And is the because we work.

You know, we have a business, all the things that generate money and activity, whatever,
but what are we trying to really accomplish here?

You know, I was thinking of my stepson who's in his late 20s, who's relatively newly
married and building a life.

And if I had somebody come to me at his age and say, okay, what are you trying to do?

What would the end game look like if you could design it?

And I don't know if I would have the forethought to say where I would be today, but I
would say, you know, I want to, ah you know, have animals and I want to have some freedom

and some money to be able to do this, that, or the other.

I could have probably put some bigger picture stuff into play.

The older we get, the easier that is because we know what we don't want, but we don't know
what we do want, right?

It's really easy to say, I don't want all these things, but when we say all the things we
don't want, guess what we get more of?

the things we don't want.

When we talk a lot about the things we don't want, we get more of the things we don't
want.

ah So focusing on what we do want in our business and in our life and the life piece, I
was like, how did that never occur to me that we need to think about just life in general?

So if I'm however many years away from retiring, between then and now, what does
retirement even look like?

What am I trying to work for?

What is that thing?

So I thought that was pretty cool.

All right, so yeah.

Was that on a new release?

Yeah, it's an updated revised version of it.

Now I read it.

I looked for the book.

I couldn't find it because I know I bought it and I read it because it sounded familiar to
me and I looked everywhere in my house for it and couldn't find it.

It was so annoying.

But I listened to it back on Audible and it was I looked it up to see, know, is because
sometimes when you buy the ones on Audible, they'll have multiple versions and you end up

with the one that's not updated.

And so I always check to make sure I'm buying the most recent one.

And that was what I got.

So,

event.

um And I don't remember, it probably was in the original one, I just don't remember.

All right, so I talked a little bit before about networking and that people don't actually
know how to network.

When you think about your own growth, what is one thing that you learned that you wish
everyone understood about networking?

um that like it's really not just about you, right?

It's really about, it's about everybody and it's about you learning and meeting new other
people and being able to connect other people together.

It's not just, what am I gonna get out of this ribbon cutting?

Right?

That's what I feel.

Yeah, I love that.

It's true.

Because I don't think that people have that viewpoint.

And that's what I teach that, right?

Is that if you go into it, if you only go into it with, how can I help the other person?

You will be 100 times farther ahead than if you go into it, what am I going to get out of
this?

If you never say a word like the guy I was talking to, he said, they were always talking
about them, position the right way.

That can actually be just as beneficial.

If I meet with somebody in a one-to-one,

and all they talk about is them.

And I think, okay, they're being selfish, uh because they are.

ah But if I'm like, okay, what if I can connect them to what they're asking me?

There's still hopefully going to be, that will come back to me, right?

Because I've helped them achieve what they were trying to achieve.

And maybe that's just the coach in me is, and I'm also, you know, like to take things and
make them better, but.

ah

is if I help them, but that's just networking in general.

When I go to a networking anything, I'm always asking who they're there to meet because
that's my best question is who did you come here to meet?

And they're look at me funny like, what do mean?

I'm like, well, did you, you had an intention.

You showed up here for a reason and they don't really, sometimes they just have to think
about, well, I didn't actually show up with a reason.

I just know I'm supposed to show up.

Yeah, like I just show up because I'm supposed to go to things like this, I guess, is what
their thought was.

But if they think about it for a minute and I can help them achieve that, then they have a
little bit more they want to help me back.

So that's always a good thing.

ah And again, I mentioned the tracker thing, you know, that will speak to a little bit of
that.

You know, I'll come back to that.

More to come on that.

ah But forward-looking, so let's talk about the future.

What's coming for you in the next year or so that you're looking forward to, do think?

New projects, the new directions, anything new on the horizon for you?

Um, my projects tend to be short term, right?

It were kind of like in the week, in the next few weeks.

So, and that's something else I probably need to take a little bit of reflection and see
where I can look to the follow further out.

but I think we did speak about it already is where I'm kind of excited to pass the torch
in my BNI chapter to somebody else.

We have.

Our treasurer is staying on.

He was the first year treasurer.

He's staying on for a second year, kind of the same way me.

He's like using what he learned and now it's going to like just make his life a little
easier.

But we have a new president.

Our president is becoming VP, which will be a different role for him.

And we have a new education coordinator.

like, I think I'm excited about that and people don't have to keep listening to me.

Yeah, it does feel like that sometimes, right?

Is when you're in the same role for a long time, you feel like, gosh, they're, gotta be
really tired of me in this, but.

And I don't, every chapter does it a little differently, but our chapter, we do our
commercials in the same direction and the VP report and the commercials come exactly back

to back.

So there is a lot of me and then on the day I'm presenting, my gosh.

So.

it's full day.

So it's all good, it's all good.

But I would say that's what I've got looking forward to now.

definitely my business, do feel like there's through Ruby and I, I've gotten some
momentum.

So I'm hoping to grow that momentum a little bit more.

But um yeah, they're all that short term.

Yeah.

okay.

That works.

All right, and I have, I've been doing this thing where the last guest asks a question for
the next guest.

So yeah, so and you'll get to leave one for the next one.

um So the last guest left this question, from your current perspective, what has changed
about how you understand about how BNI works now that is different from when you started?

I think I understood it with my membership training.

I really do.

And one of the guys in my chapter, he was in our chapter, but he was a chapter success
coach for another chapter.

After my membership training that I did, I came in and I said to him, I understand why all
these rules are set the way they are because you know, it's an

You meet the people and you give referrals and you help.

then they think that you're helpful to them and they see you and trust you that you're
going to continue to show up.

And he was so excited.

He was like, yes.

Right.

Like, so I, I understood it, but I didn't know, especially that day.

I thought it was only within the.

Whatever we had at the time, 25 people now, now I know it's beyond that.

And there is a little club there where even if you meet somebody like when I met you, I
met you in Arizona and they said, Tammy's a director of BNI.

Now I was only in BNI for one week the first time I met you.

So talk about like starstruck, right?

Like, my gosh, there's a director.

But it's a common thing and it's something that shares something about your character and
about it.

what you do in your business to say it's worth being in BNI So for me, that same
understanding has just magnified.

That's the difference.

you and I spoke earlier and I think that you also mentioned that you didn't, maybe you
didn't understand it when you, because I don't think most people do when they first start

is that it's not just your chapter, right?

You can build your business through other chapters that don't have, you you're kind of
leveraging every, you know, there's lots of opportunities in the area that you are in if

there are multiple chapters, is that true?

Yeah, so.

Yeah, well, and I think that, and I've mentioned this several times in the past on one of
the episodes that, know, just limiting yourself sort of to your own chapter, unless you're

in a position where everybody has one, uh you're keeping your opportunities a little more
limited than they need to be, because you can, even if they are represented, you can still

go and meet people.

And sometimes your same profession can be a great referral partner for you.

So it's always good to get out and see things.

All right, well, thank you so much for sharing all of that with us.

It was great to catch up with you again.

All right.

appreciate it.

It was lot of fun.

Yes, awesome.

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